ADHD
17 min read
Written by Katie Mahoney, LCSW
Published: Nov 20, 2024
Medically Reviewed by Dr. Geralyn Dexter
Imagine trying to hide a big part of who you are every day, from how you think to how you naturally respond to the world around you. That’s what ADHD masking often feels like — a constant effort to fit in, to look “normal,” and to hold back impulses that might make you stand out. But behind that mask, the strain can be overwhelming, leading to burnout and even a sense of losing yourself.
In this article, we cover what ADHD masking is, real-life ADHD masking examples, and explore how you can stop masking ADHD while embracing — and celebrating — the real you.
Discover your options for ADHD treatment on Klarity Health and take the first step towards sharing the authentic you.
ADHD, or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, is a neurodevelopmental condition that impacts a person’s ability to maintain focus, control impulses, and regulate their energy. Though commonly diagnosed in childhood, many adults have undiagnosed ADHD, particularly those with less obvious symptoms. This delay in diagnosis can result in misdiagnosed conditions, leading individuals to struggle with symptoms without proper support. ADHD often co-occurs with other conditions, such as autism and social anxiety, which can complicate understanding and management.
ADHD is typically classified into 3 types (though some practitioners recognize 7 types of ADHD):
While each type has slightly different symptoms, they impact everyday tasks, work, and relationships.
Common ADHD symptoms include forgetfulness, trouble staying focused, and acting impulsively. For example, someone with ADHD might struggle to manage multiple tasks, jump from one activity to another, find it difficult to stay organized, or deal with lesser known symptoms like mood swings or hypersensitivity. These behaviors aren’t intentional. They reflect how the ADHD brain processes information and responds to stimulation. Recognizing the signs and patterns is key to developing strategies that help manage symptoms.
ADHD symptoms can persist or appear differently in adulthood, especially in areas like time management, work performance, and personal relationships. Many adults with ADHD have lived with the condition without diagnosis or have learned to mask their symptoms.
ADHD masking is when individuals camouflage their symptoms in an effort to fit societal expectations, such as appearing organized, remaining focused during meetings, or controlling emotional reactions. This coping mechanism is especially common in adolescents and adults who’ve learned to manage impressions for social and professional success. The pressure to conform can be so great that it leads to chronic social anxiety, as the individual fears being exposed as “different.”
Masking ADHD symptoms isn’t uncommon, especially for adults or teens who’ve learned to adapt to social or professional environments. But constant masking can lead to mental fatigue, anxiety, low self-esteem, perfectionism, and even burnout.
Recognizing when you’re masking is an important first step toward addressing your needs in a way that’s sustainable and true to who you are.
For some, ADHD masking can be hard to spot. If you aren’t aware that you have ADHD, you may not recognize that you’re engaging in certain behaviors to try to hide it. Here are a few common signs of ADHD masking:
Identifying these signs can help you recognize if you’re masking ADHD and may need a different approach to manage your symptoms more effectively.
One of the core ways people with ADHD mask their symptoms is by mirroring the behaviors of those around them. This can be especially common among individuals with both ADHD and autistic traits, where neurodiversity plays a significant role. This adaptive strategy might make individuals seem more socially comfortable.
The downside to mirroring? It can lead to feeling disconnected from your true self and, over time, may contribute to ADHD burnout or increased anxiety related to ADHD.
Some ADHD symptoms are easier to hide than others, particularly those that can be managed with routines or extra effort. The most commonly masked ADHD symptoms include:
While masking ADHD can initially help an individual navigate the demands of daily life, it can significantly impair their quality of life. Over time, this effort can contribute to burnout, heightened stress, and reduced self-esteem. Self-compassion becomes key in recognizing the struggles of masking, as it’s important to acknowledge the toll it takes on mental health. Seeking a proper ADHD diagnosis from a qualified mental health professional can be a crucial step in reducing the need to mask.
Society tends to reward conformity, often ignoring the importance of neurodiversity. Individuals with ADHD who fail to meet societal expectations might be more likely to feel like they don’t belong, even when they are incredibly capable. This mismatch between personal traits and societal norms can lead to struggles with social interactions and a diminished sense of self.
ADHD masking can look different for everyone, but the common goal is the same: to fit in, feel accepted, or avoid negative attention or stigma. Here are a few everyday examples of ADHD masking that may sound familiar:
When it comes to social interactions, both neurodivergent individuals (like those with ADHD) and neurotypical individuals adjust their behaviors. But the reasons and ways they do this can be quite different.
ADHD masking: For someone with ADHD, masking involves actively hiding symptoms of ADHD and adapting behaviors to fit in. This might mean forcing yourself to stay quiet in a group setting or trying to suppress impulsive reactions. It’s often a stressful and exhausting process that can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Many people mask ADHD as a way to cope with social expectations, but this can make it hard for mental health professionals to recognize the true nature of their struggles.
Neurotypical behaviors: In contrast, neurotypical individuals often make social adjustments more naturally. They might change their tone of voice to match the conversation or adjust their body language based on the social context without feeling the need to hide who they are. These adaptations typically come from social awareness and don’t require the same level of effort or take the same emotional toll as ADHD masking.
Understanding the distinctions is key. While neurotypical individuals may navigate social interactions with ease, those masking ADHD often feel the pressure to conform, which can complicate their lives and lead to misdiagnoses.
ADHD masking | Neurotypical behavior |
Avoiding eye contact to hide anxiety | Making eye contact during conversations |
Mimicking social cues to fit in | Responding naturally to social cues |
Pretending to listen while distracted | Actively engaging in conversation |
Suppressing stimming to appear calm | Occasionally adjusting posture |
Overplanning to prevent mistakes | Spontaneously deciding what to do |
Overthinking responses before speaking | Responding more intuitively in conversations |
ADHD masking often involves consciously or unconsciously changing behaviors to fit social norms or expectations. For example, someone with ADHD might avoid eye contact or mimic others’ behaviors to blend in, even if it feels uncomfortable.
In contrast, neurotypical individuals generally display natural, instinctive responses in social interactions without the same level of effort or stress.
People often mask their ADHD to meet social expectations, avoid judgment or stigma, or blend in with others. ADHD symptoms like impulsiveness, hyperactivity, and difficulty focusing can make individuals feel different, so masking becomes a way to hide traits that might not be easily understood or accepted.
This learned behavior often starts in childhood when kids learn to adapt by watching their peers and imitating “normal” behavior. In adulthood, masking can help people navigate work, school, or daily life situations.
ADHD masking can take a heavy toll on a person’s mental and emotional well-being. Trying to hide symptoms of ADHD, like distractibility, restlessness, or impulsiveness, often leads to chronic stress, social anxiety, and even depression. This constant effort to appear “normal” can cause exhaustion, as masking requires intense focus on behavior, speech, and body language. Over time, this mental strain can make it difficult to stay motivated or focused on daily tasks.
Masking can also impact sense of self, causing people to lose sight of who they are and what they need. By constantly adjusting to fit social expectations, individuals with ADHD may begin to question their worth, which can lead to low self-esteem. Many who mask their ADHD struggle with feelings of isolation, as masking can prevent them from forming authentic connections with others. Undiagnosed ADHD can compound these challenges, making it harder for individuals to understand why they’re struggling and get the support they need.
Addressing the effects of ADHD masking is critical to improving your quality of life, building self-compassion, and embracing your unique strengths.
Stopping the cycle of masking ADHD starts with self-acceptance and building awareness around personal needs and boundaries. Recognizing the specific situations or triggers where you tend to mask — like work, social events, or family gatherings — is a good first step. Once you understand when and why you mask, you can begin to explore healthier ways to manage symptoms of ADHD openly and authentically.
Therapy can be an invaluable support in this process. Working with a mental health professional, especially one experienced in ADHD diagnosis, can help you develop strategies to cope with symptoms of ADHD rather than conceal them. For instance, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) for ADHD can give you tools to reframe negative thoughts you may have about yourself and reduce the urge to mask.
Practicing open communication with those you trust is also helpful. By letting loved ones know about your ADHD, you can work on embracing your needs and how your brain works without hiding.
Small steps like taking breaks, using reminders, or making adjustments to your environment can reduce masking and let you be yourself.
Here are some effective ADHD therapies to learn strategies and reduce the tendency to mask your ADHD symptoms.
Therapy
Medication
Support groups
ADHD coaches
Are you ready to start managing ADHD and stop the need to mask? Don’t wait to find the right care. Find an ADHD provider on Klarity Health who can assess your symptoms and recommend an ADHD treatment tailored to your needs. Find a provider with an opening as soon as tomorrow.*
*Appointments are generally available within 24 hours. Free initial consultations are available only with select providers. Prescriptions, particularly for controlled substances, may require an in-person evaluation depending on the state of residence and current federal regulations.
The information provided in this article is for educational purposes only and should not be construed as medical advice. Always seek the guidance of a qualified healthcare professional with any questions or concerns you have regarding your health. Providers on Klarity Health are independent practitioners with clinical autonomy. Nothing in this article is intended to diagnose or treat any condition, including guaranteeing prescription medication of any kind or dosage. Not all providers on Klarity Health prescribe all medications, particularly medications that are controlled substances.
If you’re having a mental health crisis or experiencing a psychiatric emergency, it’s crucial to seek immediate help from a mental healthcare professional, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist. You can also call your local emergency services, visit your nearest emergency room, or contact a crisis hotline, such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, by calling or texting 988 or dialing the Lifeline’s previous phone number, 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) in the U.S.
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